Etiquette: What to do when invited to a party.

As I promised here is a litle post on What to do when invited to a party.

These days etiquette is not something you learn in school like one used to. Not here at least. I was so lucky that once a year my parents were invited to a national meeting of the machine entrepeneurs sosciety of Norway, and my father is a highly respected man in that circle and was chairman for many years. So me and my sisters were expected to behave properly and have good manners. I used to think manners and etiquette was boring, stiff and unneccesary, but I have come to appreciate and expect it. In my oppinion etiquette is something everyone should learn.

There are many different social norms that come into play when it comes to parties. However wich ones to follow and wich ones you can ignore all depends on how formal the party is. If it's a small get-together with friends normal manners are accepted however if it is a more formal party, wether it's a wedding, a business party or going out to a formal resturant, there are differnt expectations to how you are supposed to behave.

The demands of etiquette starts the moment you get an invitation to a party. A propper invitation should have all the information you should need to arrive at the party in time, properly dressed and with proper company. But no matter what kind of party: DO RSVP yes or no.

The first thing is what kind of invitation you got. If you get a text: "I'm having a party, wanna come over sometime later?" or "Wanna come over around 7-ish?", then it's clearly a very informal invitation and you can come as you are... so to speak. If it's a saturday and it's a "drinking party", then you are almost expected to dress up a litle, but it is not demanded. Ofcourse, if you come dressed in frills with hair undone you migh get laughed at a lot.

When you get invited to a more formal party, like a birthday party or dinner party, you often get an invitation in the form of an email or a card. Be sure to check if the invitation is to you alone or you and a guest. If it's for you alone, don't bring a guest without clearing it with the host/hostess first, and only if there are special reasons for why you should bring an extra person.

The invitation should also tell you where and when to be there. And here is a point: Be on time. Do not arrive late, but more important, do not arrive early. Ofcourse a minute early is not a crime, but be thoughtfull towards the host/hostess that has been preparing for the party and might not be quite ready when it's 10 before party time. Let her/him get the time alotted to get dressed and polished so they don't have to feel rushed because you arrived early. Also do not arrive later than a few minutes late. There is something called fashionable late, but honestly, think about it for a moment. If your host/hostess has been cooking dinner and has to wait for an eternery for you to show yourself at the party... it's not fashionable, it's just rude.

The last thing I'm going to add is dress code. On a proper invitation there should say something about what manner of clothing you are expected to wear. If it is a dinner party and it says "casual" meens what you should dress as you would when going out clubbing or the like. That meens nice, pretty everyday-type clothing. Jeans and a nice top will do.

If it says "Informal" usually meens that a man should wear a business siut and tie, while a woman can wear a business suit either with skirt or pants, or a coctail dress etc. It is a bit of a fluid term.

When it says "formal" or "semi-formal" it kind of depends on the party because the term formal is used both for semi-formal, formal and court dress. If it is for a wedding, debutante ball or the like it is a semi-formal type party and you should dress in black tie attire for men and long dress or evening gown for women (in the evening). If the party is early in the day, the dress code differs slightly. Check it online if you need to.

Formal meens that you are expected to wear a ball gown for women and white tie attire or morning dress for men. This however is no longer as common as it used to be. Court dress even more so and this is honestly something most of us never have to think about since it is only worn at the court if ever invited to a royal party of some sort. If that happens... well then you should not be sitting here reading my blog! And when in doubt: over dress rather than under dress!

All in all there are 3 things you should remember when you get invited to a party:

• Respond to the invite as soon as posible. The host/hostess depends on this when planning.
• Be on time and at the right place.
• Check the dress code, if any, and call the host/hostess if you have any questions.